Fe Fi Fo Go

I finally had enough of the Fe Fi Fo Ho, this bitch is fuckin psychotic. Just a really fucked up whore that hasn't a clue on how to deal with people. She has every disease known to man one week or another. The issues range from Lupus Erythematosus, Stroke, Blindness, the Inability to Walk, HIV, AIDS, Gonoherpasyphalaids, the list is endless. If she hears a new term or disease you can be sure for the next week she will use it as much as possible. When she heard the term resignation, i think she told me 10 times "It is time, i am giving my resignation!" Too bad the bitch didn't mean it. She is a fuckin nutter. One guy the other night was asking about her and said "You know, the girl with the Flapjack Titties." This is the most Narcissistic psychopath i have ever run across. She claims to be the highest paid hooker in New Orleans, HA! She is a pathetic joke of humanity and should have been the Poster Child for planned parenthood! The funniest part about this "Gem" is that 70% of the guys that enter the club and know TS's work here think she is a he. She is also a Rat, Claims to have CI number, claims to have ratted out dirty cops etc. Tried to invent shit on me when i fired her from my shift. Boys and Girls, i suggest you steer clear of the Fe Fi Fo Ho.

Mexicant

So one night working in a club we have this Mexicant walk in. He immediately pulls his little Chihuahua out and scares the girls and boys. I let it go for a few minutes to see how the Girls will handle it. Eventially I tell him its time for him to leave. Now my Mexicant isnt fluent by any means but he got the idea, turned to me, said Fuck You and continued to drink his beer. I then said No It is time for you to go. He ignored me so my door man said it is time for you to go in some broken Mexicant Spanish. He ignored him as well. At this point I am finished with his bullshit so i move the chair that is between him and the door out of the way, I grab one side of him, my Ooompah Loompah Pit Bull grabs the other side and we procede to "Gingerly" escort him to the door. When we have him immitating Aero Mexico as he launches across the sidewalk, we aim for the pole outside the door but accidentally allow him to touch down in the garbage can. He gets up and hums a beer bottle at me like a MLB Pitcher, that thing was traveling well over 98MPH. This guy missed his calling! The bottle explodes on the wall behind me and i feel a sliver cut me, so i decide "Fuck This" and I go after him, he starts to attempt to bow up to me when I throw a Right Jab that sends him to the ground. He then gets up and starts to run away but for some reason turns around, I guess he likes getting punched in the face, so i oblige his fettish and land another one on him, he hits the ground again, he grabs my leg and twists my ankle so i fall over. Well that pissed me off so i jumped up and started kicking him in the face, i give him a second to get back up as i know he loves my punches, so when he gets up he goes to swing at me, i block it his eyes get big and i punch him again, he goes back to the ground, grabs my foot again and i fall again, now i am looking like a drunken Irishman on St. Paddys day at this point, i was ok to leave it there till i realised i fell in the French Quarter gumbo that is the funk in the gutters of the street. So i get up and really pissed this time start wailing on him, my doorman gets a kick or two in and as i am about to finish him off these 3 street walkers start talking to him saying "Little Man I dont know what you did but whatever it was it must have been fucked up because these are 2 of the coolest guys on the block, you better go before they really hurt you" So i let the lil Mexicant up and he backs off, and we think its over. I return to the club. An hour passes and my doorman says hey he is there, i look out he is peeping around the corner at us. He does this for about 20-30 minutes trying to convince any Mexican that walks by him to help him out, they all refused. I look up and see him walking towards the door of the club alone, now i have a lot of things going through my head at this point, such as WTF this guy is a total moron, he just had his ass kicked there is no way he is coming back for more, he has something else going on, so my doorman and I go inside the club to wait. After waiting for what seemed like 10 minutes i see him rushing around the car parked on the street with his hand in his back like he is reaching for a gun, i slam the club door shut and throw the deadbolt. He beats on the door for a second or two and leaves. Later that evening we see a few guys we know that told us he definately had a gun. So goes another day in Paradise!

Bloody Nikki

What do you get when you take a 6'1" transgendered guy with a potbelly and really horrible cosmetic procedures? Yes! Bloody Nikki. This bitch is disgusting. Firstly It has HIV, and some kind of silicone injections in his hips that was rejected so it looks like a cottage cheese factory gone bad, and an upper lip with so much collagen in it i think Goodyear is stamped on his inner lip. He totally freaks out when someone calls him a boy, i dont get why afterall he is a he. I will call a TS she if i have any respect for them but this boy is just a pain in the ass, not to mention dangerous. Why the name Bloody Nikki you ask, well one day he is in the back with a guy giving him head apparently and the guy screams, and Nikki comes out with his face covered in blood. Can you believe the guy asked for a REFUND? This big ugly thing finds it fun to get a thug in the back convincing them he is a she only to let them know right as the dance is ending that he has a dick. Really classy let me tell you. So if you are ever in the Stripper Graveyard and see a pale black boy with horrible torpedo titties pointing right and left and a pot belly thats Bloody Nikki, give him my regards, tell him he looks like a Boy.

Date-Rape Drugs

Is it just me, or do date-rape drugs and hookers seem an odd combination? I guess they are effective for the poor bastard that can only afford a $20 cap but for the most part it is amusing as hell. So the Fe Fi Fo Ho comes in skipping and dancing around the bar and I was thinking to myself OH SHIT IT IS GONNA BE ONE LONG NIGHT.

She informs me she is on 2 caps of GHB can she work??? I was thinking probably a bad idea but "Ok just don't be a pest!" I am out at the front door talking to my door man when a guy comes by asking if we have any girls. I tell him yeah aside from the ones here at the door there is another in there you cant miss her. He walks in the bar and walks out saying there is no one in there. Now this girl is literally 6'8"-6'10" in her heels how could he miss her. I walk in and look around and nope no stripper. I look around the bar, check the dressing room, the restroom, the VIP room. Nothing. Then as i am walking out to ask my doorman if she left i see her cocked under the stage. Looked like she had a broken neck so i went over to her and asked her what was up. She said "Gemeeabartowel" and that's about how it sounded. I got her a towel and then she looked up, her face was covered in blood.

Yukkity Yuk Yuk i don't have HIV i don't want HIV or any other blood borne pathogen so i stepped back. She asked that i help her to the restroom i said ok and put a plastic bag over her hands and said grab on. So I walk her to the bathroom, her nose is broken she is bleeding from her mouth etc. I could only laugh. Apparently the dumb date-rape drugged moron who took it recreationally face planted against the steel bar. Oops! Broke her nose probably chipped a tooth or so. I send another girl in to clean her up. About 10 mins later the idiot is asleep in a chair, i figured let her sleep. Upon waking up a few hours later she asked why she hadnt made any money, i tried to explain there just isnt a market for comatose hookers, most men get that with their wife why would they wanna pay for the experience?

Mothers Day

A guy comes in with his mom on Mothers Day evening and drools over the stripper currently in the club, TFB. He is loud, a bit drunk, but seems like a nice enough guy. His mother is a demure, very kind lady who just really seems like my kind of people. We hang a bit at the bar chatting and then he continues to be infatuated with the stripper. He figures out that he can have the stripper for a "VIP" for the paltry sum of $240 ish.  

Before i know whats going on he is off to the VIP room with the stripper and his mother is paying for his "dance."

They run to the back and get busy while his mother and I chat. She is charming, from the left coast and in the IT field. While they are back there his mother asks me the original sex of the stripper. If they had questions initially i think they should have been asked up front rather than after the fact. The mother asks something along the lines of "I didn't just pay for my son to get a blow job from a man did i?" What am i to say? This puts me in an extremely awkward situation. She notices my discomfort and laughs it off stating "Well it will teach him some humility!" What a gem!

After all is said and done the son comes out and is grilling me as to whether or not the stripper is or was a man originally... I state we have all types that work in the club and since i have no intimate knowledge of any person that works in the club i cant tell. This is a fact, i know what people say, i know what people think, but i honestly can not 100% know for sure the past or present gender of any person working in the club as a dancer. The dancer tells the son that she was born with both sexes.  The son says well it doesn't really matter he would do her again.

You can tell he is never quite sure and gets more agitated as his time in the bar progresses. His mother tries to control him, eventually our conversation over life and computers is cut short as she must remove her unruly child from my establishment before he is forced to spend a night in OPP.

He asked me if he is now considered a fag, i stated and gave him the easy way out. "Did you go there with intent to have sex with a guy? Did you think it was a guy? Did you want it to be a guy? If you answered no to all these questions then NO you aren't gay." If you answered yes, maybe you are gay or bi... Who am i to Judge?

Although she was a doll he was a bit of an asshole by the end of the night taking liberties with peoples personal space and telling me he should come over the bar and kick my ass. At one point he tried to shove his fingers in my nose asking me if they smelled like pussy. He said he has been in many prisons before and is returning soon. Tis a pity but with his deteriorating behaviour after he rushed to do the deed ignoring his better judgment how is it my fault? It isn't. So gentlemen, young and old, don't be a total fucking moron if you think a female in a strip bar in New Orleans is male, chances are they either are or were at some point if you don't wanna go there, then DON'T. If you ignore your better judgment and do it anyway, you are at fault and to blame no one else is. So pull up your big boy panties and deal with it!

Till next time, PEACE

Fe Fi Fo Ho

So the other night i am talking to a dancer that works for the competition and she is going on telling me how she smacked the Fe Fi Fo Ho. I stopped for a second and knew immediately who this person was. She is 6'0 without heels, and with stripper shoes she is easily 6'8" so the name fits perfectly. She is a total self centered bitch that thinks she is "all that" and doesn't realise that she is a washed up whore. To be a whore is one thing, to be a washed up whore is altogether different. So the Fe Fi Fo Ho continues to win friends and influence people. I would have to say the funnies part about this particular person is a lot of men think she is transgendered. Does that mean you are hot? I am thinking... I will keep my thoughts to myself on this one. She could be attractive if her personality weren't so shitty. She will walk up to you every day telling you how she is going to die and ramble to you for hours about how pathetic and miserable she is. The second you ever say anything about yourself she glances at you with a curt look, says "I don't care" and walks off.  I am told none of the bartenders/managers on the block can manage her or keep  her in line, yet i never had that problem when she worked for me. 

I am tired of one thing on the block. Nearly every freakin dancer tries to tell me and convince me they are the biggest moneymaker on the block etc. The other day one girl works her first shift with me. Does a $60 dance and the second the customer pays for it she has her hand out. I said what? she said give me my money, i looked at her and laughed in her face. I said you don't get paid immediately, you claim to being a dancer for over 7 years and you have yet to figure out how it works? I am unsure if i am more impressed with her audacity or ignorance.  She started to pitch a fit,  and told me hers was the best ass in the French Quarter, to which i laughed and told her, "Wow Really? I hear that daily from different girls" i then pointed to the front door and told her to have a nice night and get out of my bar. 

The two biggest moneymakers I have worked with are one transgendered i called Sideburn Sue in a previous post, and then another short lil "healthy" Hispanic looking dancer. The heavy set one is amazing with people. I am unsure if its her soft voice or maybe her calm demeanor but she can walk up to ANY customer and within 5 minutes of talking to him have a dance and then some.  I enjoy her working my shifts because i know i will make some money.

Customers asking me if i think they are idiots is seldom a good sign for them.

Thursday night, i had this total pretentious prick in the bar bragging about how much money he has etc. Well 3 girls went up to him and he denied them all, then "Sideburn Sue" went up to him and some how cracked his safe open. Within 10 seconds he bought her a $27.00 drink and 5 minutes later a $280.00 dance. After he agreed to the dance i had to get him to sign his credit card receipt, give his fingerprint, take his photo etc. When i went to him to get him to sign the receipt he started being a real prick. He looks at me says "Do I look stupid to you?" to which i bit my tongue and assured him that the fact that he was going upstairs with a man he thought was a woman didn't influence my opinion of him at all. He asked what i would do if he refused to sign it, i said not too much apparently and about 10 seconds before i was going to kick him out the door she signed, then gave his thumbprint and i snapped his picture. After his dance he wouldn't leave, so the girls got him to spend more money, 2 rounds of drinks and he was at $91.00 so he closed out his CC again. Then he wanted a VIP with the 2 girls i mentioned earlier together, Sideburn Sue and the Heavier one. I told him it would be $560 he said no. after about 45 minutes to an hour of the girls wrangling him he decided on 2 $120.00 dances. well the 45 mins of wrangling and drinking put him at about $490.00. Before the dance both girls insisted on $100 tip for each of them and $100 for me. So they take him to the ATM and he withdraws $200 gives each girl her share. Well they went ape shit and started badgering him till he went to the ATM again. This time was for my tip. They weren't going to do anything with/for him till he tipped me. He comes to the bar gives me a $20 note and walks away. The girls looked at me and said they were going to get the rest during the dance. After them postponing his dance for 5-10 mins and hearing him getting annoyed i told them to forget about it. Once the dance was over they managed to get another $40 from him for me, so these 2 girls definitely rock. They shortly ended their shifts after this dance and headed home, the guy was still there wanting a VIP from another of the girls, he went to throw it on his CC and i ran it and it was declined. So she took him over to the ATM and he tried n tried to get money from it, she then saw a receipt on the floor and it was his. he was $-198.00 at that moment. So we both knew it wasn't going to happen, he went in and out of the club another 5 times or so, and on each reentry he had me run his card to see if it would work yet.

NO SIR I DO NOT THINK YOU ARE AN IDIOT AT ALL, you spent a total of over $900 on a guy and a girl and called the guy a Classy Woman at the end of the night. YOU SIR ARE A TOTAL MORON! With your Wedding ring and negative bank account I hope your wife is PROUD!

Week from hell

Can you say SLOW, i worked one night alone *no tits = no tips* i worked another night with a drunk tranny, that offended everyone that walked in. I worked another day with a virtually full bar but was ony bar tips no dances etc, and the next day was working with a door man that got drunk and went and turned a trick at another bar. Just hasnt been my week.

Ugh and Unfff

Lets hope next week is better, then again, its hard to beat $28.00 in tips in a week, when i am used to making $300+ a night....

Strippers Galore

I am used to working at the 2 clubs I manage. Some girls from the other 2 clubs came in last night and hung out for a little bit and said to come check out their clubs after work. So i did, and they are interesting to say the least. One girl i will call HK doesn't fit the "graveyard" fare. She is intelligent and still in decent shape. I wonder why she hit the Graveyard. Probably drugs... 

So i went to the 2 clubs and hung out for a while at each of them. They had a lot of patrons and a lot of girls working... I think that's what our clubs are missing, WOMEN, not chicks with dicks but WOMEN, and not short fat bulldogs but WOMEN. Yep I can see now why so many people go across the street rather than into Tranny Hell. I would say out of the 15 or so women working at the other clubs, maybe 5 were actually somewhat attractive. Not drop dead gorgeous or anything but better than the butt ugly women i am used to. Lets face it, I am totally not accustomed to looking on the dance area and seeing a nice ass. I am used to seeing GIGANTIC TITANIC ICEBERGS. With maybe 2 exceptions they were nothing special but they were at least not cellulite pocked legs and asses. 

Is that to say that the clubs don't have their share of Cottage Cheese, No, but at least they have more of a selection than FAT ASS OR COCK. 

I guess i have ranted long enough on this subject.

So on to the interesting person of the evening. She is short and petite, has a few tattoos but no "tramp stamp!"  I sat in her bar for about 20 - 30 minutes just seeing how it all worked. Well what i got was a lesson in how to work a crowd. There were i guess 3-5 men sitting at the bar each with a girl talking to him. HK, after telling me "I never go up to men, they come to me" quietly got up on the dance area and started her dance. It was pretty amazing to watch the guys reactions, as if marionettes on strings, all at once they turned and watched her, you could see the strippers with them trying in vain to create some conversation or anything to get their transfixed gaze off of HK but it was all in vain. They all watched much like a dog's head follows your hand when you have a treat. I was half waiting for them to either pant or drool. To my dismay they didn't. You could almost see their pulse rising as she climbed across the gap between the stage and the bar and then proceeded to dance on the bar right in front of them. At this point i think i saw some drool escape and even heard panting! She did this for about $8. 

I thought, wow what a waste, then i saw her move in for the kill... She picked the best looking of them all, slinked over to him and made her proposition. Within 3 minutes the guy paid at least $500 for 30 mins alone with her. I left shortly thereafter and went to the other club. I returned about an hour or more later and she was still doing VIPs and i am guessing she won each of them over and probably scored well over $1500 which all started with one dance to one song. Now that is working a crowd, in a stripperesque kinda way. I am sure she could have repeated the performance once every 2 hours for an 8 hour shift and left with around $6000. Too bad i wasn't born a petite white woman! I am just an old fat guy who is losing hair in places i want it, and growing hair in places i don't.

What a long strange week

OK so i didn't keep up with it last week, it was pretty hectic. Jazz Fest first weekend, so Wednesday night the freak show began, boys from southern states trying out some boys. The sad part is we had at least 5 rednecks that never figured out they fucked guys and not girls.

Wednesday night was by far the most fun of them all. I had a guy run in claiming to be a cop, he came behind my bar and ordered me to give him one of the girls phone numbers. I told him to go fuck himself and he left. Then he returned and again came behind my bar saying he was going to shut the club down that it was under surveillance, What an asshole. I asked to see a badge he had none. So i had the doorman toss him out, i told the doorman if he returned i was going to have him tossed in jail. Thankfully he returned yet again, so i walked behind him down the street for about 20 feet to a waiting policeman and informed him that this guy was claiming to be a cop and wasn't that a felony? The cop smiled at me turned on his lights and arrested the jackass. Enjoy OPP moron. Money wasn't great and the streets died promptly at 1am. I was a bit worried but at 4am a girl walked in to get cigarettes. Well she told me she had been a stripper before and wanted to try the pole. I obliged and she danced, well she was the most attractive thing on the block and around 4:30 guys walking buy started noticing and the club started coming alive, by 6:45am i had to actually throw people out of the club because it was time to close. The girl said she was going on vacation but would return to dance again when she got back. I am looking forward to that. She carried on intelligent conversation and attracted guys. Just what i needed on a dull night. We will see if she ever returns.

Thursday night was steady all night long. There was a genuinely nice guy in there from TX who a girl tried to pull a hustle on. I heard his side, i asked her side. they didn't match! I then asked a girl that was changing when the incident occurred she told me the guys side so i fired the little bitch on the spot! Needless to say the guy left totally happy and very glad i was working.

Yes we are a whore house, yes it is illegal, but i still am not gonna let someone get ripped off! we aren't about fucking over customers, just fucking them.

I will try this week to post every night, as i am working 5 days straight!

Been a While

It has been a while since i posted, mainly due to the fact that my laptop was in the shop. It is back so let me see if i can get you all caught up.

SG and I work together a lot and we have a pretty good work relationship. She works it and makes us both a nice bit of money. 

Tranny Faye Baker owes me a bit of money and is a total space cadet or just a con, or probably both, i think the hormones ate its brain. Regardless next time i work with TFB i will be sure to get whats owed me from the payout.

Sideburn Sue actually got her sideburns shaved off the other day, it didnt really help.

Chocolate with lots of cream or CWC has fast become one of my favorite people to work with. If it isnt the hormones making her crazy, its the clients with their rude remarks. I heard a very funny story about her i will relay at another time. But here is one i witnessed the other night. CWC had a customer for a *VIP* and within 3 minutes they were both finished. I asked what happened and CWC said  she told him she was pregnant and had 2 babies at home so he gave her all his money and left. It is amazing how blind men are to have a Tranny tell you they are pregnant and believe them. A con you say? Yes it is a con, do I have a problem with it? Well in a way i do, in a way i don't. A man with a wedding ring enters a known brothel looking for action, when the person delivering the action makes a play on his emotions to get paid without doing anything, the fact that the emotions were the play thing, sure that's wrong, but the guy shouldn't have been where he was being married. So it makes for an interesting Morality play.

In other news, i am looking at 2 possible jobs away from here, although i wont have much to write about then i will definitely have a better work environment... 

So SG and her men, well she is in love with love i am sure of, this is not a bad thing. She loves a hustler and convinces steady tricks she loves them. She is really a kind person deep inside that has had some shitty cards dealt, most her own dealing, some not.

The part that bothers me most is that you see these young naive girls who come in looking for a job, sure some are cute, some aren't but they are still somewhat pure, and within 2 weeks they are as seasoned as the ones that have been doing it for a lot longer. It is times like this i wish i was rich and could say hey, wake up, go get an education, and have pride in yourself.

Oh well....

All in all business has been very slow we are hoping for a pick up over the next 3 weekends.

Until next time... Happy Hooking.

Day Four

This shift had a rather interesting assortment of people, but the one that stands out is the mouthy stripper. Short little woman with a mouth. "Nigger this, Nigger that, fuck this, fuck that." I could stand it for all of about 30 minutes then I had to walk away. As her story goes, she loved southern rock bars, so she always dated bikers as bikers hung out in southern rock bars and due to that fact she was married to a biker. He was supposedly a good guy who worked for a casino. One night after his shift he wound up dead. She is now selling her ass to get by. She hears voices etc so i am guessing she is Schizophrenic. Or maybe its just the enormous amount of drugs she ingests daily. She says she is addicted to cocaine, and i am sure there are other substances there as well. Yesterday however she decided she was not going to drink any alcohol because that would make her want coke and since she didn't have any money for coke she just wouldn't drink. Hmmm if its that simple then why drink in the first place?????? Her love of southern music must be slipping as she played "Sweet Home Alabama" and once it came on asked who played this fucking nigger music.  Yeah some people are just fuckin' crazy and she... Well, she is definitely one.

I had a door man i had never worked with before. Nice guy, and very professional about what he does. Always in touch with me so I know where and what he is doing and no complaints. It was a slow night but he kept a positive attitude the whole night.  He has his own little catch phrase "Cold beer and hot titties, right inside come on in." 

There are 2 other doormen I have worked with. One is a very nice guy, lets call him sleepy smack. He is a junkie as i am told, I have not witnessed it, but i can attest that he goes in the bathroom and comes out and nearly passes out. Sounds like Heroin to me. He is very knowledgeable of everyone in the area, and one of the few human beings I know that can actually fall sound asleep standing up.

The other doorman is a rather obnoxious character, tall and pudgy guy with a small bald head. He, I think, is working until he makes enough money to get his car fixed then he is headed back to Texas or Arkansas or somewhere other than here.

'Till next time, i think i will go somewhere other than here too. If only for a day.

Day Three

People are interesting. You stand in front of the club, you say hello to everyone that passes, it's just the proper southern thing to do. The uptight people are funny, they almost say hello then they look up see the sign that says Girls and they jump back from you as if you had the plague. It makes me laugh every time i witness it.

People are sneaky. Today this gentleman passed the club 3 or so times, twice with his wife. About an hour or 2 after last seeing him walk by with his wife, he appears in the club. This guy is a regular so i am told and likes the girly men...

To those of you unfamiliar with New Orleans and its drag queens, transvestites, transsexuals, strippers, hookers, and various other combinations of the same, they work in nearly every strip club and usually have really nice figures. There are a few tell tale signs as to male or female but typically the unsuspecting tourist has no clue. 

Tonight I had the pleasure of working with 3 trannys, quite an interesting lot. One is loud and boisterous, nearly as loud as the size of "her" ass with tons of plastic surgery, kinda like Tammy Faye Baker... One is rather shy but has a way with the customers, very petite but looks like a man in the face complete with sideburns, and the other is a rather large black girl with a lot of cream in her coffee and very sweet but just down on "herself" i guess due to the lack of chubby chasers on this particular shift.

Tranny Faye Baker struck first scoring a private dance, then Sideburns Sue nailed a VIP. Both scored with the afore mentioned gentleman.

It was a slow shift for the 2 born women working. I did have fun talking to one of them, a very sweet light skinned black girl who was telling me of her boyfriend that asked her to marry him last night. She said yes but wasn't sure if he was serious or not. She had a customer that got weirded out asking er which chicks had "dicks."

Another day in "Paradise Lost."

Day Two

Tonight I had the pleasure of working with a stripper I have been wanting to work with. She is a fun girl that is really good with the customers. In looking at her you can tell she was once quite beautiful, before the tattoos, before the piercings, before working the clubs. She is tall with a bit of a heavy figure now, but back in the day I am sure she had nice curves in all the right places.

Her mood seemed a bit off though. After a few hours I noticed her crying so went to figure out what was wrong...  She spent the next few hours of trying to explain to me how much she loved her boyfriend and how much he meant to her but wasn't sure if it would ever work out. She comes from uptown he comes from the 7th ward, a not so nice area. She was trying to work out in her head whether to make it work or to let it go. After a few hours of back and fourth over working it out or not she then let what was really bothering her slip... It seems her new boyfriend, a hustler in the French Quarter had unprotected sex with her and didn't bother to mention he had AIDS until later. She claims to have other medical issues so if in fact she has contracted HIV and it turns to AIDS she will not have an easy go of it....

Day One

Tonight a cop from California comes in the bar sits down and orders an Absolut & Tonic. He then proceeds to pull out a number of different wallets while freaking out and realises he doesn't have any money or CC's. I hear him mumble that "She" took all his money and CC's. I look at him and start to laugh. Not a very loud laugh but a laugh none the less. I asked who she was he said a girl he met on Bourbon Street. Apparently he met this "girl" on Bourbon and hung out with "her" for a bit. What he didn't seem to realise is that he had a t-shirt on with a badge and his department on it. So he walked around with a false sense of security and bravado. 

I took this opportunity to show how worthless eyewitness testimony truly is. He proceeds to tell me this is the strongest testimony in court. I realise it is viewed as such but it is the most flawed of all the testimony. I asked him to describe her to me. He says well... well... She was blond and had big boobs, she was wearing a white t-shirt and jeans. I asked if that was it, he hadn't stated any identifiable features not even what was written on the t-shirt. After a while of this he realized that eyewitness testimony is garbage. I then went back to how she rolled him and told him to be more careful. As I see it, he got his pants pulled down "which he said never happened" and while his pants were at his ankles the pro rifled his pockets and took his cash and CC's.  His reply was, she wasn't a hooker, "I didn't even talk to her like a hooker." 

With this comment I laughed. WTF?!? To add insult to injury I asked him if she had a really tight body he said yes, i said well in this area anyone with an amazing body is typically a Tranny, so good luck finding HIM. 

After an hour or more spent conversing with this guy he told me I should run for office... I have no desire to be in any public office, a fact he couldn't seem to realize.

Oh well... Lesson learned.... OR was it?